Balancing Motherhood and Residency: Tips and Insights from a Resident Mom
Me as a 4th year medical student and newborn Jacquelin Pearl ❤️
As someone who had a baby during medical school, I know firsthand the challenges of balancing residency and parenthood. Neurology residency, in particular, can be especially demanding and time-consuming (that q4 28hr call 😢). In this post, I want to share my experience and tips for managing motherhood during neurology residency.
When I first started my neurology residency, my daughter was just an infant. It was tough to leave her for long hours and miss out on important moments. I made sure to tell my wife and mother who watched her during the day that if she said her first word or took her first steps to just keep it from me so it would feel like the first time for me (I’m not sure if they ever had to). As time went on, I learned to establish a routine that worked for both of us. Here are some things that have helped me manage motherhood during neurology residency:
Jacquelin Pearl and Mama
First Day of Intern Year
Communicate with your family and colleagues: It's important to let your family and colleagues know about your situation as a mom. Don't be afraid to speak up early if you need time off for a doctor's appointment or if you have to leave early to pick up your child from daycare. You get PTO in your contract, you can use it! Your colleagues will likely be understanding and supportive if you are open and honest with them. I had the benefit of having other moms in my program who I worked with who understood the complexities of motherhood in Residency.
Be efficient with your time: At the start of every rotation and with every new team I joined, I made sure to let my team know that getting out on time was extremely important to me. Being able to pick my daughter up after work has alway been something I look forward to. Especially because my workday would often start before she would wake up. I work hard during the work day to ensure I leave on time.
Prioritize self-care: As a mom in residency, it can be way too easy to neglect your own needs. However, it's important to prioritize self-care in order to help avoid burnout. Whether it's taking an extra long shower at the end of the day with fancy soap, joining a yoga class, or spending time with your partner/friends, make sure to set aside time for activities that bring you joy - whatever they may be. You may find it necessary to actually put self-care time on your calendar like I did.
Find a support network: Having a support network can make all the difference when it comes to managing motherhood during neurology residency. Whether it's a fellow resident who is also a parent, a mom's group in your community, or an online forum, having a group of people who understand your situation can be invaluable. We have quite a few moms and moms-to-be in our program so it is nice to know there are others who “get it”.
Be kind to yourself: As moms, we often put a lot of pressure on ourselves to be perfect. But during residency, it's important to be kind to yourself and recognize that you are doing the best you can. Don't beat yourself up if you miss a holiday or can't make it to every school event. Remember that you are doing important work and making sacrifices in order to provide a better life for your child.
In addition to these tips, it's also important to recognize that everyone's situation is different. What works for one mom in residency may not work for another.
Finally, I want to encourage any moms who are considering medical school or are currently in medical school/residency. It's not easy, but it's possible to balance motherhood and a demanding medical career. Don't be afraid to ask for help or seek out resources. You've got this!
